Thursday, March 29, 2012

What is this strange feeling?

What's it called when something good happens to you because somebody decides that the work you do is pretty good and they want to give you the opportunity to do something you've been wanting to do for a long time?  Is that hope?  Guys, I think I'm feeling hope.
A couple weeks ago I got acceptance letters from St. Mary's in San Fransisco and the University of New Orleans.  My excitement has been on a bit of a slow boil, but I think I'm headed for a full on joy rampage.
I just declined my spot for fiction at St. Mary's which came with an assistantship, due to lack of funding and the school's high expense (I'm sorry but you forced my hand St. Mary's, why can't make your decision deadline be April 15th like almost every other school in existence). I'm trying to dwell on the poetic justice of getting to reject a school after being rejected by so many other schools last year, but I'm mostly gripped with an irrational fear that UNO will rescind my acceptance for mysterious reasons or simply to satisfy their lifelong goal to recreate the eternal struggle between Lucy and Charlie Brown only instead of a football, they're using my hopes and dreams.  
This fear exists because when I applied back in December I got an email from UNO's graduate school letting me know that my application would not be processed.  My snail mail writing samples, however, still made their way to the creative writing department and they liked me enough to want me in their program.  I was recently notified that I somehow failed to submit my online application at all and was told to fill it out again to tie up that loose end.  I'm not one to throw around the term "miracle" but I am convinced that with strong writing samples and divine intervention, dreams really do come true.
That being said, I'm probably moving to Louisiana this summer to become a famous writer and teacher.